Dr G Sp: Reverend.... ....let us speke of medicin. What aylment are thee to curentlye observe?
Rev FS: Being a clergye of this nourished parysh be ynvolved wyth the adytion of straynge vapoures to the extracted tiny animules of the kydney to examynne the intricates of diabeyteys.
Dr G Sp: Ahhh, verily diabeyteyes - the grosse malady of the obeyss and infyrme. The bloode becomes lyke molasses and the eyes ruiyned and unsteady.
Rev FS: Yea. Also, the brayne becometh much strayned and trifel matters may cause instant gnashyng of thee teethe. The cure is to faste for thre wekes.
Dr G Sp: Much joye that we have moved on from olde tyme treatmentes such as used by thee primitive FRENCHE. A frenche knave, infected by the diabeyteys would be lain upon a stone slabbe and attacked from all sydes by robuste farmers brandishing "HAMMERS". A viciouse and bruytal assaulte lasting over foure day and nite. This practice gayv rise to the frenche traditional meal "crepes" resembel as it did the flatteyned sufferer of diabeyteys.
Rev FS: Joye indede at modern medicin. Longe gone are the dayes of yold where a malnouryshed manne be increased in size by beyng stung by swarms of bees. His thynne fayce become fatte and engorged but layter on in the daye he be dead from mysterious causes. Now we havve botoxe and fattox to trete the uglie and thinne.
Dr G Sp: Ewe may not know, but amongst the savyge SCOTS, any manne complayning of being stung by the honeye bee, wasp or similar gnatte or tinney beast of the aiyre, would have immediately and swiftely been put to deathe for the simple reasonne:
What use the man who sore fails a battle with thy bee?
Rev FS: What use indede. What use indede such a cowarde.
Reverend Fanoire Siphuncle and Dr Grotesque Spadix wer beyng overharde and wryten to internette by Gladys Haydn-Seke
